Jesse’s Journal – #5:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

My initial understanding of sobriety was flawed. All that mattered was the day counter, and comparing myself to others’ milestones. And I thought it was about completing tasks like a to-do list for self-help. These kinds of attitudes only led to relapses. In it, I was still controlling life and filled with pride (usually the negative self-pity kind). With relapses, I would kick myself for not doing enough and feel unworthy through unhealthy comparison.

I am learning to let go of that ridiculous pride, humble myself and be willing to be seen as someone who doesn’t have it all together. I am cultivating a new attitude, of being willing to listen to others, ask questions, and receive daily gifts from the program. From a place of emptiness, I am finding my new beginning, life in God’s way and strength – not mine. Letting go of ego, I receive everything I need, moment by moment.

How It Relates To You:

“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” (1 Peter 5:5)

Like the journey described above, you may find yourself struggling with perfectionism or comparing yourself to others. Whether in your spiritual walk, career, or relationships, the tendency to measure ourselves against others and demand flawless performance can mask a deeper fear of vulnerability and failure.

Remember that true transformation comes through humility – acknowledging our need for help and being willing to learn from others. When we let go of our need to appear perfect, we create space for authentic growth and allow God’s grace to work through our weaknesses.

Reflection Questions:

• In what areas of your life do you try to maintain control instead of surrendering to God?
• How has pride (whether through comparison or self-pity) affected your spiritual growth?
• What would it look like to approach your challenges with humility today?

Scripture to Remember:

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” (James 4:10)

Let this verse remind you that humility opens the door to God’s grace and transformation in your life. When we bow low before Him, acknowledging our limitations and need for His guidance, He lifts us up in ways we could never achieve on our own.

True humility isn’t about thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less – shifting focus from self-reliance to God-dependence. Through this posture of surrender, we experience His transformative power working in and through our weaknesses, leading to authentic spiritual growth and lasting change.

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Help me to let go of my pride and self-reliance. Teach me to humble myself before You and others. Thank You for Your grace that meets me in my weakness. Give me the courage to be honest about my struggles and the wisdom to learn from those You’ve placed in my life.

In Jesus’ name, I pray, amen.