Jesse’s Journal – #6:
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
My journey to recovery has taught me that my best thinking often led me astray. For many years, I thought my sexual addiction was about sex. However, I’ve come to realize that these behaviors were actually about numbing my emotional pain. I learnt to cope through unhealthy mechanisms to manage insecurities, inadequacies, fears, anxieties, and any uncomfortable emotions.
A transformative paradigm shift occurred when I understood that I was really medicating from myself! I began seeking guidance from God. I am still learning that when I felt triggered to act out, I can pause and ask Him to reveal the truth to me. This simple practice seems to calm my mind, creating space between my impulsive actions and those initial thoughts and emotions.
Through prayer, support from program friends, recovery literature, and healthy habits, I’ve been rebuilding my life. I still have bad days. I still slip up now and again, but there are many lessons to be learnt. With an attitude of wasting nothing I experience, I am getting stronger. Those long-suppressed emotions resurface, and challenge me. Sometimes they overwhelm me, but I am learning with each day how to respond healthily.
I’ve learned that feelings aren’t facts. They won’t define me or control my actions. Instead, I’ve come to understand that emotions offer valuable insights into my well-being. Knowing I’m safe in this moment empowers me to confront challenges head-on.
How It Relates To You:
“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” (James 4:10)
Like many struggling with addiction, you may find yourself using unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with pain and difficult emotions. True healing begins with humility – acknowledging our need for help and being willing to learn from others. This journey involves identifying triggers that lead to self-medicating behaviors, seeking God’s guidance through prayer and meditation, building healthy coping mechanisms and support systems, and learning to face emotions rather than numbing them.
Reflection Questions:
- What emotions or situations trigger your desire to self-medicate?
- How has trying to handle everything alone affected your healing journey?
- What would it look like to surrender your struggles to God today?
Scripture to Remember:
“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you.” (Psalm 55:22)
Let this verse remind you that you don’t have to carry your burdens alone. God invites us to share our struggles, fears, and pain with Him. When we feel overwhelmed or tempted to self-medicate, we can find comfort in knowing that the Creator of the universe stands ready to sustain us through every challenge. This isn’t just about emotional support – it’s about experiencing His strength when ours falls short.
Prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
I acknowledge my tendency to try handling pain and struggles on my own. Help me turn to You instead of harmful coping mechanisms. Thank You for Your healing presence and the support systems You’ve provided. Give me courage to face my emotions and wisdom to seek healthy ways of dealing with them.
In Jesus’ name, I pray, amen.
