Jesse’s Journal – #8:
“For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world;” (Titus 2:11-12, KJV)
Through my ongoing recovery, I’ve come to understand that sexual fantasy served as my initial coping mechanism for uncomfortable emotions and situations. What began as an escape gradually became a gateway to more destructive behaviors. I’ve made significant progress by recognizing this pattern and applying recovery principles.
When I first started my recovery program, I classified fantasy as an inner circle (no-go) behavior. Since then, I’ve moved it to my middle circle, where I actively address it with spiritual tools. While the middle circle isn’t a place to linger—fantasy remains unacceptable—it no longer requires me to reset my progress. Instead, I treat it as a warning signal that I need immediate help to prevent relapse.
When fantasy arises, here’s my action plan (which I’m still learning to implement):
- Admit to God my struggle and humbly ask for freedom and truth
- Check-in with my sponsor and recovery program peers
- Acknowledge and sit with underlying emotions rather than numbing them
- Go do a healthy outer circle activity if needed
- Practice mindful breathing and relaxation to stay grounded in the present moment
Am I perfect at following this plan? No! I make mistakes often. But I’m learning to:
- Embrace uncomfortable emotions rather than avoid them
- Develop self-awareness and introspection
- Share my struggles with others to gain connection and support
- View challenging emotions as opportunities for growth
- Practice daily gratitude to maintain a positive perspective
While challenges persist, I’m grateful for my progress. Fantasy rarely occupies my thoughts now; when it does, I recognize it as a warning sign. I’ve learned that deliberately dwelling on sexual thoughts can lead to unhealthy behaviors, such as masturbation and pornography.
My relationship with God remains the foundation of my recovery. As this connection deepens, I gain clarity on truth and reality, develop resilience and trust, and find the strength to make healthier choices.
How It Relates To You:
“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24, KJV)
This powerful psalm reminds us that true healing begins with inviting God to examine our hearts and thoughts. Like David, we must be willing to let God reveal the areas where fantasy, lust, or other unhealthy patterns have taken root. When we humbly ask God to “search” and “try” us, we open ourselves to His transformative work.
This verse encourages us to stop hiding behind our fantasies and instead allow God to lead us toward lasting freedom. It’s an invitation to radical honesty – acknowledging that only God can fully know our struggles and guide us toward authentic healing. As you recover, consider regularly praying these verses, asking God to illuminate any harmful thought patterns and show you His “way everlasting.”
Reflection Questions:
- How has fantasy served as a coping mechanism, and what healthier alternatives have you found?
- What role has your recovery program and support system played in helping you overcome fantasy?
- How has deepening your relationship with God helped you distinguish between fantasy and reality?
Scripture to Remember:
“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (Romans 12:2, KJV)
The “renewing of your mind” refers to replacing unhealthy thought patterns with God’s truth. When we actively work to transform our thinking through recovery and spiritual growth, we begin to discern God’s will more clearly and naturally resist the pull of fantasy. This transformation isn’t just about stopping negative behaviors – it’s about renovating our thought life to align with God’s perfect design.
Prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for being so gracious in my journey of overcoming fantasy and lustful thoughts. Please help me stay grounded in reality and truth and find healthy ways to process my emotions. When fantasy arises, give me the strength to turn to You and my support system rather than escape into unhealthy patterns. Please guide me to embrace uncomfortable feelings as opportunities for growth.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
