Jesse’s Journal – #9:
“…For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world;” (Titus 2:11-12, KJV)
As I continue my journey of recovery, I’ve come to understand the true nature of my addiction – a disease that affects my mind, body, and spirit. In Step 1, I acknowledged my powerlessness over this illness and how it made my life unmanageable.
The reality of my insanity, as described in Step 2, became crystal clear: Despite devastating consequences, I repeatedly return to destructive behaviors. It’s like someone with Celiac disease who, despite being hospitalized, immediately returns to eating gluten upon release – that’s how powerful and irrational this disease can be.
Through working on Step 4, I’ve observed a crucial truth: those who maintain sobriety are the ones who consistently surrender to God and their recovery program. In contrast, those who try to manage life on their terms often relapse. This shows me that without daily surrender and program support, I remain prone to self-destruction. This pattern has been reflected throughout my recovery journey. Like many others, I’ve had to learn these lessons the hard way of many relapses (and even one relapse just mere days ago).
But there is hope. Coming to believe in God’s restorative power by seeing God’s work alive in other addicts who are living sober lives has shown me that true sanity means freedom from these compulsive behaviors. My destructive actions are just symptoms of deeper issues, and healing comes through surrendering my will to God’s guidance, one Step at a time. Today, as long as I’m not directing my own life, it’s no longer in the hands of an insane person. The question remains: Will I go to any lengths today to be restored to sanity?
How It Relates To You:
“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; and to be renewed in the spirit of your mind; and to put on the new self, which in righteousness and holiness corresponds to the image of God.” (Ephesians 4:22-24, KJV)
Many of us have experienced the insanity of addiction – returning repeatedly to destructive behaviors despite devastating consequences. Whether through substance abuse, unhealthy relationships, or compulsive behaviors, these patterns of insanity can destroy our lives and pull us away from genuine relationships and spiritual growth.
The good news is that restoration to sanity is possible through God’s grace and practical recovery tools. By acknowledging our powerlessness over our addiction and surrendering to God’s guidance, we can develop a new way of living free from compulsive behaviors. This journey requires courage to face reality without escaping. Still, with support from others in recovery and a deepening relationship with God, we can find lasting freedom from the insanity of addiction.
Reflection Questions:
- In what ways have you experienced the insanity of addiction in your life – doing things repeatedly despite knowing the harmful consequences?
- How has surrendering to God’s guidance and working your recovery program helped restore sanity to your daily choices?
- What changes have you noticed in your thinking and behavior as you’ve allowed God to restore you to sanity through recovery?
Scripture to Remember:
“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10, KJV)
This powerful prayer for a clean heart and renewed spirit perfectly captures the essence of recovery from addiction. Like David, who wrote this psalm, we also need God’s cleansing and renewal to break free from destructive thoughts and patterns.
The verse speaks directly to those struggling with addiction – acknowledging our need for God to create something new within us, as our efforts at managing our behavior have failed. When we surrender our will and ask God to renew our spirit, we open ourselves to His transformative power that can restore us to sanity and help maintain our sobriety.
Prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for being so gracious in my recovery journey. I admit I am powerless over my addiction and need Your help to live in reality, to cultivate a right spirit within me, to maintain a clear mind, and to put off my old corrupted desires. Please guide me as I surrender daily and lean on my recovery program. Help me find freedom by trusting You instead of using my ways.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
